It never hurts to better yourself

While taking the six human needs test I thought my primary need was connection, because I didn't really acquire the skills for bonding. Now that I know that my primary need is growth I can develop myself by enhancing my capability, focus, and not evading my feelings because these are the factors that will make me better.

I need to make it my mission to continue to constantly improve my skills and practice them so that it will make me better at what I'm trying to do because the more I practice the more I expand my capability. By improving what I have knowledge of and practicing this skill this will ensure me the benefactor, because if there ever comes a time in which I will need to use that skill, I can. If I don't practice that proficiency my capability of being able to do whatever it is; it will be impossible for me. For example, with math, math was never my best strong suit. I never practiced the proficiencies that were taught to me in class outside of school. As a result of that, come test day I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't passing my tests or doing good on my homework because I wasn't practicing the skills given to me. If I had I would've been improved drastically.

I need to center on thinking positive and not down talking myself or having the "I don't know how to do it, so I'm not going to do it" attitude. I can't have this negative attitude because will effect me academically. If I go into a math class lets say and math not being my best strong suit; if I go in there and have a negative mind set I'm not going to do so well in class. My negativity effects my activities. For example, the blue eyed experiment. A third grade teacher divided her class into two groups, people with blue eyes and people with brown eyes. She told the class that the people with blue eyes were better, smarter, and she treated them nicer than the people with brown eyes. When she did daily activities with them, it took the people with brown eyes longer than the people with blue eyes to finish because they weren't supperior. When she flipped it to where the brown eyed students were on the top the brown eyed students finished much faster than the blue eyed students because they were on top. The negative images these students carried about themselves effected their ability to learn. This just simply means that you enable yourself to fall into the belly of the beast.

I must focus on learning because this is a way for me to stay tuned into what it is that I'm doing. For example, reading. I, easily absent minded. If I'm reading withmy phone next to me and my phone vibrates, I'm easy to abandon the book. I'd checked my email, messages, maybe go on Twitter, and I'd never retreat back to reading.its why my reading rate is never where it needs to be. I've only finished and completed five books total this whole year. The reason for that is simply because I don't focus enough. I don't read fast and it always takes me at least five weeks to finish a book. The book I'm currently reading now is called "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini. Right now I'm current on page 170 and this is only the third week since I've had this book. I might finish this book faster because it interests me. this interests me because I've always seen Afghanistan to be a poor country with no cars and death. I picture dead people lying on the floor and no one happy because in history class that's all we learn about.

Reading this book has shown me that not all parts of that country are bad. I've learned about a few decent cities and one of them is called Kabul. It's where most children live including the main character. They're happy there. They have kite tournaments and that's what interests me. How one could be happy and make life seem like it all unicorns and rainbows despite whats going down. They aren't that different from America because we have religious conflicts not just in Afghanistan but in America too. There are conflicts between Jehovah's witnesses and Christians. Believers and non-believers. Pashtuns and Shi'a. I even witness  religious conflicts take place in my family. There was a family that lived across the street from my grandma and they were jehova's witnesses. As a little girl she would always tell me not to let them play with me or if they were playing outside to come back inside the house. I remember her telling me they were believing in the wrong thing. I grew up thinking that they were bad peopl  just because they had a different belief. The biggest difference I caught between America and Afghanistan was that we don't shoot and kill our own. Sure acrimony exists but we don't go out shooting and bombing our streets while killing innocent people. Kids even.

I need to practice on not bypassing my feelings because it's okay to like what I'm doing. I often don't show my emotions because I deep down in my heart believe that if I give in it'll distract me from my objective. I need to learn the It's good to enjoy and to have fun on the job. Teachers aren't teachers just because. They're teachers because it's what they like to do. It's how you find out what your likes and dislikes are. It's how you find out who you want to be in life. It's not good to suppress my feelings because I'll never find that one thing that I like to do that could lead me to my career or that one special person that'll change my life forever.

With improving my capability, focus, and practicing on feeding my emotions this all helps me mentally, physically, and emotionally. Mentally this boots my self-esteem because without all that negativity I'm going to have a positive outlook on things. This won't just have a positive impact on what I do but on me as the individual. This will aid me physically because with everything improving its going to encourage me to crack open some books and I'm going to improve drastically. I'm not just going to feel great, I'm going to look great. This assists me emotionally because Im going to be able to put more effort into what I'm doing. I'll be more devoted to my task because I won't be too busy worrying about suppressing my emotions afraid that it'll derail me from my mission. I'm actually going to be happy.

Is there such thing as being too generous?

Is it too generous to help an old lady cross the street? Is it too generous to feel hunger pangs in the pit of your stomach at school, because you give up your lunch money so that someone else can eat? Is it too much? Truthfully it's not even half a glass of water because the world that we live in now; there's not much generosity going around.

We're too busy hating each-other. Killing each-other to even notice. Like my mother always says, "if it were a snake, it would've bit you." What is this garbage; this nonsense that makes us come unhinged? That makes us the devil within; mean and cruel? Why can't we turn all of that off like a switch does for a light bulb? We all just need to take a deep breathe, relax because it's going to be okay and just be nice for once. I'm not talking about being nice for a day. No, I'm saying we've got to make it our interest to be generous. Kind. Nice. Everyday, because no one likes a mean person. With where our world is centered now, bad things happen to people who aren't nice. We all need to be this way. It's for the best.

Its 2015 people! 2015. A new year. 2014 and the years that stand behind it have passed, they're long gone by now. We need to drop everything. This means all the hatred we have, the grudges that we hold in our grasps, and the discomfort we have towards others; we just simply need to drop all that old garbage that we've held onto and start with a clean slate. Start fresh. Even compliment people who we never thought we'd compliment. Talk to people who we normally wouldn't talk to. It never hurts to make such small talk amoungst one another. Who knows we might even make a new friend. We need to break into that habit of helping people when we see them struggling instead of joining the crowd of bystanders and people who'd waltz right pass. Its never too much to be nice. It makes people smile when you tell them they look great. When you compliment their shoes, hat, or purse. It makes their day. Its never EVER too much to be nice and there's no such thing as being too generous. How could one even do that?  It won't cost you an arm and two legs. It won't bite. It doesn't sting, it doesn't burn and nor does it hurt. All it takes is a warm heart, a friendly smile, and kindness.