It never hurts to better yourself

While taking the six human needs test I thought my primary need was connection, because I didn't really acquire the skills for bonding. Now that I know that my primary need is growth I can develop myself by enhancing my capability, focus, and not evading my feelings because these are the factors that will make me better.

I need to make it my mission to continue to constantly improve my skills and practice them so that it will make me better at what I'm trying to do because the more I practice the more I expand my capability. By improving what I have knowledge of and practicing this skill this will ensure me the benefactor, because if there ever comes a time in which I will need to use that skill, I can. If I don't practice that proficiency my capability of being able to do whatever it is; it will be impossible for me. For example, with math, math was never my best strong suit. I never practiced the proficiencies that were taught to me in class outside of school. As a result of that, come test day I didn't know what I was doing. I wasn't passing my tests or doing good on my homework because I wasn't practicing the skills given to me. If I had I would've been improved drastically.

I need to center on thinking positive and not down talking myself or having the "I don't know how to do it, so I'm not going to do it" attitude. I can't have this negative attitude because will effect me academically. If I go into a math class lets say and math not being my best strong suit; if I go in there and have a negative mind set I'm not going to do so well in class. My negativity effects my activities. For example, the blue eyed experiment. A third grade teacher divided her class into two groups, people with blue eyes and people with brown eyes. She told the class that the people with blue eyes were better, smarter, and she treated them nicer than the people with brown eyes. When she did daily activities with them, it took the people with brown eyes longer than the people with blue eyes to finish because they weren't supperior. When she flipped it to where the brown eyed students were on the top the brown eyed students finished much faster than the blue eyed students because they were on top. The negative images these students carried about themselves effected their ability to learn. This just simply means that you enable yourself to fall into the belly of the beast.

I must focus on learning because this is a way for me to stay tuned into what it is that I'm doing. For example, reading. I, easily absent minded. If I'm reading withmy phone next to me and my phone vibrates, I'm easy to abandon the book. I'd checked my email, messages, maybe go on Twitter, and I'd never retreat back to reading.its why my reading rate is never where it needs to be. I've only finished and completed five books total this whole year. The reason for that is simply because I don't focus enough. I don't read fast and it always takes me at least five weeks to finish a book. The book I'm currently reading now is called "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini. Right now I'm current on page 170 and this is only the third week since I've had this book. I might finish this book faster because it interests me. this interests me because I've always seen Afghanistan to be a poor country with no cars and death. I picture dead people lying on the floor and no one happy because in history class that's all we learn about.

Reading this book has shown me that not all parts of that country are bad. I've learned about a few decent cities and one of them is called Kabul. It's where most children live including the main character. They're happy there. They have kite tournaments and that's what interests me. How one could be happy and make life seem like it all unicorns and rainbows despite whats going down. They aren't that different from America because we have religious conflicts not just in Afghanistan but in America too. There are conflicts between Jehovah's witnesses and Christians. Believers and non-believers. Pashtuns and Shi'a. I even witness  religious conflicts take place in my family. There was a family that lived across the street from my grandma and they were jehova's witnesses. As a little girl she would always tell me not to let them play with me or if they were playing outside to come back inside the house. I remember her telling me they were believing in the wrong thing. I grew up thinking that they were bad peopl  just because they had a different belief. The biggest difference I caught between America and Afghanistan was that we don't shoot and kill our own. Sure acrimony exists but we don't go out shooting and bombing our streets while killing innocent people. Kids even.

I need to practice on not bypassing my feelings because it's okay to like what I'm doing. I often don't show my emotions because I deep down in my heart believe that if I give in it'll distract me from my objective. I need to learn the It's good to enjoy and to have fun on the job. Teachers aren't teachers just because. They're teachers because it's what they like to do. It's how you find out what your likes and dislikes are. It's how you find out who you want to be in life. It's not good to suppress my feelings because I'll never find that one thing that I like to do that could lead me to my career or that one special person that'll change my life forever.

With improving my capability, focus, and practicing on feeding my emotions this all helps me mentally, physically, and emotionally. Mentally this boots my self-esteem because without all that negativity I'm going to have a positive outlook on things. This won't just have a positive impact on what I do but on me as the individual. This will aid me physically because with everything improving its going to encourage me to crack open some books and I'm going to improve drastically. I'm not just going to feel great, I'm going to look great. This assists me emotionally because Im going to be able to put more effort into what I'm doing. I'll be more devoted to my task because I won't be too busy worrying about suppressing my emotions afraid that it'll derail me from my mission. I'm actually going to be happy.

Is there such thing as being too generous?

Is it too generous to help an old lady cross the street? Is it too generous to feel hunger pangs in the pit of your stomach at school, because you give up your lunch money so that someone else can eat? Is it too much? Truthfully it's not even half a glass of water because the world that we live in now; there's not much generosity going around.

We're too busy hating each-other. Killing each-other to even notice. Like my mother always says, "if it were a snake, it would've bit you." What is this garbage; this nonsense that makes us come unhinged? That makes us the devil within; mean and cruel? Why can't we turn all of that off like a switch does for a light bulb? We all just need to take a deep breathe, relax because it's going to be okay and just be nice for once. I'm not talking about being nice for a day. No, I'm saying we've got to make it our interest to be generous. Kind. Nice. Everyday, because no one likes a mean person. With where our world is centered now, bad things happen to people who aren't nice. We all need to be this way. It's for the best.

Its 2015 people! 2015. A new year. 2014 and the years that stand behind it have passed, they're long gone by now. We need to drop everything. This means all the hatred we have, the grudges that we hold in our grasps, and the discomfort we have towards others; we just simply need to drop all that old garbage that we've held onto and start with a clean slate. Start fresh. Even compliment people who we never thought we'd compliment. Talk to people who we normally wouldn't talk to. It never hurts to make such small talk amoungst one another. Who knows we might even make a new friend. We need to break into that habit of helping people when we see them struggling instead of joining the crowd of bystanders and people who'd waltz right pass. Its never too much to be nice. It makes people smile when you tell them they look great. When you compliment their shoes, hat, or purse. It makes their day. Its never EVER too much to be nice and there's no such thing as being too generous. How could one even do that?  It won't cost you an arm and two legs. It won't bite. It doesn't sting, it doesn't burn and nor does it hurt. All it takes is a warm heart, a friendly smile, and kindness.

Should there be an age limit on social media?

Yes, there should be an age limit on social media because especially in this generation younger kids are an easier target to sex offenders, pedophiles and rapists. These people can pose as a threat to anyone but it's the youth, that's more of a target than adults. They can create fake profiles and you'd think they were teenagers  just like you. How would you feel if you were on social media thinking you were talking to someone named Sara Claire for example, when you're really talking to a 58 year old man behind the screen? Nasty right? Well it could happen to some of the younger kids because I know a few people who go to my sisters school who have an Instagram, a Twitter account, who are on Facebook and they're only just beginning middle school. They have no business with being associated with any social media network. The age limit is 18. Not 14, 12, or 10. Children who are not 18 and over shouldn't have anything to do with social media what's so ever because when they take pictures and post things there are hackers out there who can find your exact location. They're able to find out all your information as to where you live, when and where you post pictures, they can find you and hurt you. Maybe even worse. I think parents should pay more attention to their child's activities and step up to do a better job at monitoring what their child is doing. Young children get on social media networks and they don't have a clue as to what could possibly happen. For people who have Twitter accounts anybody can follow you and look through your pictures. You could meet this "cool" person who ever  they appear to be and they may not be who they say they are and that's somethjng we all need to be careful and aware of. That's all the more reason as to why we should be more strict on the age limits on social media.

Lunch lines are just simply too long

I don't know about you guys but when that bell goes ' Ding! Ding! Ding!' Signaling its lunch time and I'm just coming from second period, I'm ready to eat! My stomach constantly growls as I take in the aroma of food and wait in the eternal life long line that's so long it could wrap around the school at least once. An hour long for lunch sounds good right? I mean it gives your smoking brain that's about to malfunction a break, am I right? Sure. Yeah why not? It's an whole hour of lunch! Why wouldn't it be okay! But it's no fun when you have to stand on your two feet for 30 minutes or more just to get food.

We need to have at least four to five lunch lines open with the number of kids that attend my school. I don't know if the staff needs to set up a concession stand and sell food or what. They just need to do something because not a lot of students get to eat at all. I don't even get to eat lunch sometimes and the effect it has on me isn't good. I get headaches and I sometimes fell weak with the emptiness of my stomach. And that effects how I perform in my classes. Me not being able to focus
 and constantly massaging my temples to relieve somewhat of the pain.

We shouldn't have to suffer. The principal should have some of the staff members fill up five or six carts of food to help with the lunch lines. This may not get everybody but it'll knock some of the people out of the way so that the lines can along faster. Two weeks ago, I was in line for lunch and that day I didn't get to eat at all. Third period I have band. I uncased my instrument, got my music out and started walking to my chair. While doing so, I felt weak all of a sudden and I felt myself falling. Luckily someone was there to catch me and help me balance myself. Long story short, I almost passed out due to not eating.

As teenagers we're still growing and eating is an important ingredient for us. If the staff members don't make some adjustments to how they can make the lines go swifter a lot of us could get sick. This'll look bad on the school because they have multiply opportunities to change things up and they choose not to.

Too many people on the bus. I need to breathe!

The bus that takes me home is more like a pack of sardines. Everything's just too close. The people I mean. Three to a seat is one thing but four to a seat? FOUR?!?! Oh no! We need another bus. My school needs to come up with a better solution than what they already have because it's too many people. Can I get some breathing room? Please?! I mean good Lord! They see how congested the bus is everyday and because of that that's why they should get two buses to make sure everyone has a ride   home.

It's so many people on that bus that some students have to sit on the floor. On the nasty, putrid, dusty and sickening floor. Who knows what someone has stepped in and now you have to sit in it. That's not right. That's not right at all. The bus driver himself  should at least have the decorum to say " hey, these students are always squished against each other and having to sit on the floor. Why don't I go talk to someone about getting another bus to take these kids home". They should have the decency to say something along the lines of that, considering they see what we go through. But they don't, because they don't know what's it's like to be too close to someone.

They don't know what's it's like to be pressed up against someone you don't know. Someone who smells so bad it burns your nose hairs off. Someone who's so sweaty that you could probably fill two buckets worth of sweat. Nobody wants that on them. Lord forbid someone being sick and coughing up a world of germs. For you to have to be scrunched three or four to a seat with them wouldn't be so thrilling. I'm getting appalled just thinking about it. I don't even get to take my instrument home to practice like I'd want , because my bus is so populous. It would just make it worse if I decided to to bring it because I'd have to hold my back pack in my lap. I have too much stuff in my back pack to just take a seat with it still attached on my back. It's simply too much. I'm lucky if I get to take my clothes home to wash that I practiced in on mornings before school.

I literally have to sprint to the band hall after fourth period, get my instrument, sprint again out the doors and to the bus. By the time I do all of this, the bus is already filled with students. I have to run down hallways while nearly falling on my face just so I can have a seat on a bus. This is comparatively nerve-racking. Students shouldn't have to suffer because the adult can't speak up. We requisite another bus, and we need one now.

My reading life

See You at Harry's


My reading life has improved by a lot. Last year I didn't read at all because my class didn't have us read independently. The only time I read was when we read as a class. This year I've read two books and I'm now working on number three. The first book I read was "See You at Harry's". The second book I read was "If  I stay " and the book I'm currently reading now is "willow".

I've always been slow at reading so I kinda knew I wasn't going to be able to finish a book if I set a goal for myself for when I'd finish it. This year I proved myself wrong because I set a goal for myself to finish "If I stay" in three weeks and I was able to do that. I was also able to finish "see you at Harry's" in three weeks , which is the shortest time I've ever finished a book. I learned that I have the potential to read as many books as I want and I hope to continue this momentum of reaching my goal for reading because I want to grow as a reader. I want to able to read at a faster pace and not like someone's grandma:) . The most difficult book I've read would probably have to be a  another book I'm currently reading for class. "The Glass Castle".

Its a really good book but the difficult thing about it is the vocabulary. The use of vocabulary is a higher level than most books that I read because this book takes me the longest to read. Even if it's one page. To comprehend what the author is saying I use an online dictionary to look things up. This is one of my strategies of reading because it helps me to have a better understanding of what the authors talking about. When I finishes homework I read for half an hour. Sometimes when I get up early in the mornings for band rehearsal I read with the extra minutes of spare time I have while I wait for my dad to get dressed to drive me to school. I take this time to read so I give myself extra pages to put behind me. 

I need to improve how much I read because reading isn't my strong suit. I like writing more than I do reading. I need to keep that practice going because it can improve how fast I read. I need to push myself to read more and not just for school but outside of school too. My goals for the rest of this year is just to keep at reading. Read more and practice reading so that I can get better at it.

Friends and family. Awesome!

I'm going to be legit with you. I'm not always a happy person. Sometimes I'm filled with such despair. Sometimes I'm left feeling abandoned, small, empty inside. Sometimes I just want to be solus.

Having the friends that I have is a joy because they take my mind off of things that make me gloomy. They beget me to smile, laugh and feel very ecstatic. I love being around them because they help me overcome aversive moments. They elicit the best in me, and that's what I like about my sweet loving and caring friends. They're like family to me. Just a simple "hello Chloe how are you?" is enough to send me into a world of beautiful blooming flowers, impervious to anything than can break down my walls of glee. I'm so anxious and full of verve that when I wake up in the mornings for school, I literally get butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I'm so excited to see my friends, even if it's for two minutes (My bus is always getting to school at 8:11).

My warm hearted family is always there to remedy me. They're a giant hand awaiting to catch me for when I fall. I have two little sisters who are like bumble bees because they're all over he place. They get into my nail polish,go in my room without asking and as much as I want to strangle them , I love them. I love them to death. They're my inspiration for living. Some of us say that " My family never gives me enough space " or " I can't wait til I get a car because I'll be gone". Well lemme tell you this: You only have one mom, one dad and your siblings are irreplaceable. Once they're gone, they're gone. Forever. You won't have that mom who's so "vexatious" or that dad who wouldn't let you watch TV because he was too captivated by the football game that was currently going on. You wouldn't have your siblings who you just wanted to hasp in a closet.

You'll be left with nothing. Nothing but thoughts of what you should have done. Sorrow will take upon you and become your best friend. Regret will take you down a road of  misery and unforgettable  memories, that no matter how hard you try to wash away the guilt you feel inside; it will stick. It will stick like cement and become your biggest enemy. So exploit of the time you have , stop complaining and be with them. My family is my incentive for going out there and making my dreams come true. If I do this, I show and prove to my sisters that they can have and be whatever they desire in life. I don't know about you but having friends that make you jubilant and family who you love unconditionally; that's pretty darn awesome. If that's not then I don't know what is.